There I was, peacefully putting away my groceries (all healthy, worse luck. I think my doctor reads my blog) and chatting with my mother, who was in town for a visit. She went off to do something else, and I sat down to check in on my blog. I pressed the stats button…
I recently got a new pair of glasses. I thought maybe they had malfunctioned. I’d had how many page views? Suspicious, I took off my glasses, rubbed them, put them back on…yep, same number. I checked out the Freshly Pressed section of WordPress and, sure enough, there I was! With a blog post that I’d put about five minutes worth of thought into and basically consisted of me blowing off steam about my new diet and exercise plan!
Though, come to think of it, that’s probably a pretty universally interesting topic–not diet and exercise, which are just universally torturous, but being annoyed and frustrated by them. Yes, I cunningly picked this topic of common interest, came up with a nifty list, inserted a colorful visual, all with an eye toward getting Freshly Pressed…no, I didn’t. But it’s still fun that it happened! I had the following conversation with myself after seeing my tiny little blog up there with the big boys:
Little Blind Girl: Oh, wow, this is so cool! Look at all these page views! Look at all these comments and all the new followers! Thanks, WordPress!
Voice in Head: Wait, they picked this post? I have, like, fifty other posts that are way better.
Little Blind Girl: Oh, don’t be a buzzkill. This is awesome! I want to do a backflip, except that I’m pretty sure my body doesn’t bend that way anymore.
Voice in Head: I’m just saying. You wrote a sonnet to Johnny Depp, actually in iambic pentameter, and they go for this one?
Little Blind Girl: This was a good post! It may never get included in an anthology of insightful, provocative essays, but it’s not bad for an evening’s work.
Voice in Head: You mean twenty minutes’ work. Thank goodness I proofread.
Little Blind Girl: Yeah, I kind of feel like a mother who tells her kid to wear clean underwear in case he gets in an accident and has to go to the emergency room. ”Now, blog, I’m going to make sure you don’t have any typos, just in case you get Freshly Pressed.” ”Aww, come on, Little Blind Girl, that never happens!”
Voice in Head: Until it does.
Little Blind Girl: Exactly.
Voice in Head: So we’re just ignoring the fact that you’re having a conversation with yourself?
Little Blind Girl: Just like always.
Voice in Head: Right, then. Hey, don’t you have a policy about responding to every comment on the blog?
Little Blind Girl: Yes. (Pause) Why? How many comments are there?
Voice in Head: Fifty eight and counting.
Little Blind Girl: ….
Totally worth it. Thanks to all the people who read, liked, commented on, and followed my blog, new and old readers alike! And a special shoutout to my favorite comment, which was by laurenwhitney91: ”you are insanely hilarious. thank you for being you!” Seriously, that’s the comment! Best comment ever. I love being Freshly Pressed!
Also, for those of you who read the hilarious blog The Waiting: welcome to the world, Miss C. You’ve got a really cool mom.